Weddings, in India, have always been the most democratic of institutions. They insist on witnesses and demand that neighbours cook and eat together. They require a whole village to show up. Each community’s singular rituals carry a record of everything it has even valued, and in their insistence on spectacle, be it regarding the food they eat, the music they play, or the presence of others, they remind us that a wedding union is never a private matter. We trace some of the most distinctive wedding rituals that are practised in India today.
Golden charms and sacred steps
In Punjabi weddings, kalire are large ornamental clusters of gold or silver hung with dangling charms tied to the bride’s wrists by her sisters and female relatives on the wedding day. Once upon a time, the bride moves gracefully among her unmarried female relatives, gently shaking her wrists above their heads. Should a piece of the jewellery loosen and fall upon someone, it is considered that she may be the next to marry.
It is a joyful ceremony as some unmarried women duck and dodge while others lean in, hoping to be the next bride. But beneath the laughter, kalire are also farewell gifts from the bride’s family. It is one of the last things she carries from her maternal house to her new home.
Anand Karaj
Anand Karaj, among Sikhs, is another such interesting ceremony. In this ritual, the couple do not face each other to exchange vows but walk together in four circumambulations of the Guru Granth Sahib, the holy scripture, which is the true centre of the ceremony. Each lavan (round) corresponds to a verse being sung live by priests.
MEHENDI
The day before the wedding, the bride’s hands and feet are covered in intricate henna paste. Left to dry overnight, the resulting stain darkens rust over days. Tradition holds that the darker the colour is, the deeper the husband’s love. Hidden within the pattern, in some traditions, are the groom’s initials, which he must find on the wedding night.
The Betel Leaves
In a Bengali wedding, the bride enters the wedding area, shielding her face with two betel leaves. At an auspicious moment called out by a barber, who plays an important role in the union, she lowers the leaves and locks eyes with the groom. This ritual is called the Shubho Drishti (auspicious sight). The betel leaves are then placed on a ritual plate. No veil, but a simple leaf mediates the sacred moment.
A Ritual in Jest
Ponkvu, also called Ponkthnu, Ponkthana or Pokhvanu, depending on the sub-community, in Gujarati traditions, is a fun ritual. Upon arrival, the groom is met at the entrance by his future mother-in-law, while she pinches his nose. The groom is expected to try to playfully evade it. His friends lift him to help him. When she succeeds, the groom crushes a small clay pot, signifying overcoming obstacles. It is among the few rituals in India that formally encodes the mother-in-law’s authority playfully.
Companions First
Long before a Muria-Gond couple in Bastar, Chhattisgarh, stands before their community to marry, they share years of companionship. At the heart of this journey is the Ghotul, a communal dormitory where adolescent boys and girls live, work, dance and learn together. More than a space, it is a school, a social institution and a rite of passage.
Meghalaya’s Matrilineal Tradition
In the weddings of the matrilineal Khasi and Garo tribes of Meghalaya, it is the groom who leaves his family and joins the bride’s household, not the other way around, as is the norm in most parts of India. Property, lineage and the family name pass through the youngest daughter (the Ka Khadduh).
The bride’s family performs no kanyadaan ritual, or giving away of the daughter. Instead, the bride’s clan formally receives the groom.
Article by: Chandreyi Bandyopadhyay
